Is it better to know?

Recently, I was called to a home where I met a woman to talk about her father, who had recently died. I had been asked to officiate at his upcoming funeral. One of the questions I asked, as I do during my usual "funeral intake," was: "What lessons do you feel your loved one taught with the way they lived their life?"

She answered me with the following story:

My father was a great listener . . . my friend Jay had recently broken up with his girlfriend, and my father didn't even know Jay that well . . . but he sat outside with Jay for two hours . . . just listening to him . . . Jay just told me this story . . . not many men would do that.

I have intentionally omitted one fact from her story: this incident happened at the woman’s wedding.

Changes the story, doesn’t it?

So, here’s my question: is this woman better off not putting the pieces together? Is she better off not realizing that at her wedding, her father chose to spend two hours with a veritable stranger instead of spending that time with his own daughter?

Is ignorance bliss?

After all, Aristotle said that to perceive is to suffer. . . .

Is it better to know or not know?

That’s the bottom line.

Although it can be painful to know the truth about our selves and our lives, I believe it is better to know. If we don't, we don't understand from where our suffering comes.


With love,

Rabbi Brian