[20/40] Judgment

Judgments.

At one of our Tuesday night stained glass classes my brother-in-law, Bob, looked over at my project and commented, "You know, if you want to do that right, you ought to..." He then proceeded to explain to me a ways thought my work could be improved. I was in the process of polishing my project and planned to take it home that night, so I retorted, sharply, "I'm sorry your judgment is getting in the way of seeing my project for what it is — perfect."

Later in the class, I noticed that Bob was cutting out his pattern with regular scissors, instead of using the special, stained-glass, pattern-specific pair. I knew this error would cause each piece to grow and wreck havoc when he attempted to assemble the pieces later on. So I pointed the mistake out to him.

He quoted me back to me.

Yikes!

George Carlin — a hero of mine, honest observer of the human condition and truth teller — died late Sunday night. He was famous for many keen insights, one of which was, “other people's stuff is tihs while our tihs is stuff.” How true. (Of course, he wasn't a rabbi who had to reverse a few letters to get around spam filters.) We value our own things and opinions much more highly than we do that of others.

This truth is the same is true with regard to advice and judgment — what happened with Bob at class.

My judgments are good advice while other people's advice is nothing more than annoying judgment.

(Of course, we know this is just our grand egos getting in the way.)

When the Bible advocates that we LOVE one another as ourselves, I think it means that we need to learn to see that their tihs is as wonderful as our stuff, and that their judgments might be helpful advice.

Spiritual-religious advice for the week: understand and remember that another person’s version of reality is just as valid as your own.

With love,

-Rabbi Brian

[19/40] Perspective in Baking Bread

Perspective: Baking Bread

My friend Nagy is a Zen priest who volunteers in correctional facilities.

He told me about something he does that I want to share with you.

I will ask an inmate, "What's your job here?"

Let's say they answer me, "I bake bread."

I tell them, "No, that is not what you do."

When they look up at me for clarification, I explain, "You don't bake bread, you provide nourishment for the community."

Perspective can snap us out of our regular way of seeing the world and help us to see the world anew. (The word perspective is defined as "an assessment of a situation which relates the comparative importance of elements.")

For example until recently, my least favorite day of the year was winter solstice — the darkest day of the year. When my friend Julie sent me an article about a pilgrimage to Mecca on that day celebrates it as the longest night of the year, something switched in my head and it all changed. (I'm still a little upset about summer solstice as I know that after it I lose a little sunlight each day.)

Perspective!

As we know, perspective can turn a half-full glass of water half-empty, and back again.

In a lesson that Nagy knows well after ordaining a few inmates who have taken Bodhisattva vows and become monks, perspective can turn a prison into a monastery — and, we ought to be aware, the other way around.

With hopes that you feel comfortable with your place in this world and love,

Rabbi Brian

And, if you care to, click here to see comments on the streetprophets site where this article also went up this week.

[18/40] Nice Effort

Nice effort!

Perhaps you've seen the recent studies about the effect of praise by psychologist Carol S. Dweck. (A variation of it seems to be in every parenting magazine I read recently.) Her work paints a very interesting picture.

In her study, some students were praised for their innate intelligence and some for their effort.

Then, the students were given a test. A test, unbeknownst to them, that was two years ahead of their grade level.

Predictably, they all failed.

The former — those praised for their intelligence — were devastated. They assumed that the test proved that they weren't smart at all.

The later — those praised for their effort — weren't fazed by failing the test. They simply assumed that they hadn't focused hard enough on the test.

With regard to your spiritual-religious life, I would like to continue to encourage in your efforts.

Getting to find and be with (the) God (of your understanding) is nothing easy — many of the greatest minds who ever lived have struggled with this. Even Mother Teresa struggled with her faith — so know that you’re in good company.

Moreover, according to the Bible — and let’s leave Biblical baggage aside for a moment; I’m just making a cool point — after one of Abraham's grandsons spends a sleepless night wrestling with God, God changes his name from Jacob to Yis'ra'el — which means "struggles with God" or "fights with God." As I see it, that’s all of us — each of us, every day struggles, fights and wrestles with, defeats, and is defeated by God. Struggling with God, struggling with the question of God's existence, struggling with the role of God in one's life — none of us ever has full certainty with regard to God.

So, keep making the effort.

Seek out a relationship with (the) God (of your understanding).

After all, it won’t happen on its own.

With love,

Rabbi Brian

And, if you care to, click here to see comments on the streetprophets site where this article also went up this week.